Choosing Your Career Path, a Practical Guide for Young People and Graduates
Five practical steps to choose your career when you are torn between your studies, your passion and the job market, with real examples.
I learned to deal with failure the hard way. I finished my military service in January 2020 at the age of twenty-eight. Most of my friends were years ahead of me. Some were married, and some had been promoted twice. I started on the first step, an HR administrator at a resort in Marsa Alam, and I was convinced I would make up for lost time quickly.
A few months later that experience ended, and I found myself back in Damanhour looking for another start, with one question that would not stop in my head.
I am 28, my friends have been in their jobs for years, I have only just started, and I am back at square one. Does that make me a failure?
I was not a failure, but it took me time to understand that. I accepted a job as branch manager for a telecom company in Damanhour, far from HR. There I learned to manage targets, sales, a team and angry customers. A year later I went back to HR in hotels and worked my way up until I was building entire departments from scratch, then I founded my own company.
I tell this story at the start of this guide because dealing with failure and rejection is not a theoretical subject for me. In the mentoring sessions where I worked with more than a hundred job seekers, I saw the same pain in different forms. In this guide I share what I learned about getting up after a fall, and how to turn rejection from a verdict on your worth into information that helps your next step.
The summary in five points
- Failure is an event, not an identity. The difference between I failed and I am a failure is the difference between those who get up and those who stay down.
- Allow yourself to grieve for a set time, then move on to calm analysis.
- Separate what is in your hands from what is not, and put all your energy into the first.
- Rejection in a job search is a number in an equation, not a verdict on you. Find where the equation breaks and fix it.
- If sadness lasts for weeks and affects your sleep and your life, asking for professional help is strength, not weakness.
The difference between failure and an experiment that did not work
Most of us were raised to see failure as something shameful to hide. An exam paper with a poor grade gets hidden, a job interview that went badly is never mentioned, and a project that lost money is forgotten. This upbringing makes us afraid to try at all, because any attempt might end in something we are ashamed of.
But in the business world I work in today, we see it differently. Every ad campaign that missed its goal gives us information about the audience, and every employee who did not succeed in a role teaches us something about how we hire. Failure here is not an end but data. The first lesson in dealing with failure is to change the question. Do not ask why this happened to me. Ask what this is telling me.
Why rejection hurts so much
Rejection hurts because we tie it to our worth as people, not to the specific situation. Three things add to this pain in our society in particular.
Comparison on social media
You open Facebook after another rejection and find a classmate posting a photo of the first day in a new job, and another celebrating a promotion. You do not see what either of them went through before that photo. So you compare your worst moments with their best.
Family questions
Still no job? Your cousin was hired in his first month.
The question usually comes from love and worry, but it adds to the pain of rejection a feeling that you are letting the people around you down.
Silence after applying
Silence may be harder than rejection itself. You apply for dozens of jobs and not a single reply comes, so you start imagining the worst about yourself. In truth, silence usually has nothing to do with you, but with how companies work and the volume of applications they receive.
Dealing with failure in five steps
Step one, grieve for a set time
Do not pretend you are fine, and do not bottle up your feelings. Allow yourself to be sad for a day or two, talk to someone you trust or write down what you feel. But give that sadness a clear end, then move on.
Step two, separate the event from your identity
Tell yourself I was rejected for this job, not I am a failure. The first sentence describes an event that can be analyzed and changed. The second passes a final verdict that leaves you no room to move.
Step three, analyze calmly
Once you have calmed down, take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. In the first write the factors that were in your hands, such as your interview preparation, the quality of your CV and the way you spoke. In the second write the factors that were not, such as the number of applicants, an internal candidate and the company's circumstances. Then put all your energy into the first column.
| In your hands | Not in your hands |
|---|---|
| The quality of your CV and how well it fits the job | The number of applicants for the job |
| Your interview preparation and practical examples | An internal candidate or an earlier referral |
| How you follow up after the interview | A hiring freeze or a budget change |
| The skills you are developing now | The general state of the economy |
Step four, ask for feedback
If you reached an interview and were not accepted, send a short, polite message thanking them and asking for one piece of feedback to help you improve. Not everyone will reply, but those who do will give you information that may save you months.
Thank you very much for your time in the interview. If you do not mind, what is the most important thing I could work on to be a stronger candidate next time?
Step five, the next small step
Do not plan to change your whole life after a rejection. Choose one small step to take within 48 hours. Edit your CV, practice one interview question, or apply for three new jobs. Small movement breaks the feeling of helplessness.
Rejection in a job search, a number and not a verdict
In a mentoring session with a young woman from Alexandria named Sara, she had applied for more than sixty jobs in four months without a single call. She told me, trying not to cry.
It looks like I am no good at anything. Sixty companies and not one of them answered.
I asked her to look at the job search as a four stage equation. Application, then a reply, then an interview, then an offer. When the equation breaks at a particular stage, that tells you exactly where the problem is.
- You apply a lot and no reply comes. The problem is usually the CV, or applying for jobs that do not match your qualifications.
- You get replies but do not reach the interview. Review how you answer the phone and how quickly you respond.
- You reach interviews but no offers come. The problem is in your preparation or the way you present your experience, and that is a skill you can practice.
When we reviewed Sara's CV, we found she was sending the same file to every job, in a design full of tables and icons that the automated screening systems many companies use cannot read. She rewrote her CV in a simple format and tailored it to each job's requirements. Within weeks the first interview calls came.
From my seat in HR, I can assure you that many rejection decisions have nothing to do with the candidate at all. An internal candidate chosen from the start, a frozen budget, or a manager who changed his mind about the job requirements. You only see the result, not what happens behind it.
How to explain gaps in your CV
A gap in your CV is not a flaw to hide but a period that needs a short, honest explanation. Military service, caring for a family member, a general crisis such as the pandemic, or a job search that took longer than expected.
The rule is to state the reason in one sentence without apologizing, then move straight to what you learned or did during that period or after it. I explain the gap of my military service the same way. A simple fact, then what I built after it.
When you need professional help
Sadness after failure is natural and healthy. But if it lasts for weeks and comes with disturbed sleep, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, or a constant feeling of worthlessness, it is a good time to talk to a mental health professional. Asking for help in that case is not weakness but a mature decision that protects you and shortens the road.
Frequently asked questions about dealing with failure
What is the best way to deal with failure at work?
Allow yourself to be sad for a short, set time, then separate the event from your identity, analyze what happened calmly by separating what was in your hands from what was not, ask the people around you for feedback, then choose a small step to take within two days.
How do I get past repeated rejection in job interviews?
Look at the job search as a series of stages and identify the stage where rejection keeps happening. If you reach interviews and are not accepted, focus on preparation, prepare real examples from your experience and ask for feedback after every interview.
Does repeated failure mean I am in the wrong field?
Not necessarily. Repeated failure means something needs to change, perhaps the approach, a skill or the type of jobs you are targeting. But if you dislike the nature of the work itself with every attempt, it may be the right time to think about changing your path.
How do I answer a question about a gap in my CV?
State the real reason in one sentence without apologizing or adding unnecessary detail, then move on to what you learned or did during that period or after it, and how it makes you ready for the current job.
How do I handle family pressure while looking for work?
Share your plan with your family clearly, how many jobs you apply for each week and which skills you are developing. Their worry eases when they see you moving with a plan, and you can ask them for support instead of comparisons.
A final word
If someone had told me in 2020, as I was starting over in Damanhour and felt everyone had overtaken me, that years later I would build complete HR departments, found a company and run workshops for young people across different governorates, I would not have believed them. But that is what happened, not because I never failed, but because I learned to deal with failure instead of stopping at it.
What you are going through now is not the end of your story but a chapter of it. If the difficulty you face is daily work pressure rather than rejection, you will find help in the guide to handling work pressure. And if you are thinking about a new start in a different field, read the guide to changing your career path.
Mahmoud Saied
Business development and HR consultant, and founder of REFORMHRM, the HR division of Reform Group. He writes practical guides for young people and employees on careers, soft skills and handling work pressure.
